Chivalry is not dead. It is still trembling with anticipation somewhere, waiting to be employed in the service. However, it is being suppressed by each one of the following:
1. The equality of the sexes: May the younger women no longer want anything done in his name, no matter how simple. There is a misconception that all men who wish to do something for a woman, because you admire or just want to be polite, has an ulterior motive. Women are increasingly more committed and bound by such actions, and so there are fewer opportunities to be chivalrous.
2. Distrust and suspicion: The whole world is under Focus as guilty before being innocent in those days. We've stopped taking behavior at face value, especially when it comes to the opposite sex. We tend to attitudes, motives and actions more than we used to do, what motivates then men to do nothing for fear of being labeled negative or rejected.
3. The lack of personal confidence and self-esteem: People who are low in the estimation are not sure how to deal with acts of chivalry. They are embarrassed for the compliments, which tend to focus on themselves and were not sure how to react to any horse. Many people lack self-esteem and thus when dealing with very careful ways, are likely to doubt the sincerity of the donor. Not used to give themselves and more likely to be conscious of himself, trust people tend to ignore low chivalrous acts or interpreted as suspicious.
Emphasis 4. The era in which we live: There is much less in "gentlemanly" qualities in those days. The boys are raised only to be themselves, not as "gentlemen", a state that is more familiar now for older men who are used to suck. The social protocol to behave like a gentleman and be there for a woman is lost. With him is the type of actions that knights demarcated and made them much sought after.
Cavalry still there latent in many corners, but like everything in society, we must accept that the interpretation of what it means to be gentlemanly also change and will be dictated by the expectations of the time it was in
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ELAINE SIHERA (www.myspace.com/elaineone) is an expert author, public speaker, media contributor and lifestyle columnist. Confidential advice on personal/relationship issues is available on the quiz site. The first Black graduate of the OU and a post-graduate of Cambridge University. Elaine is a Personal Empowerment, Relationships and Diversity Consultant. Author of: 10 Easy Steps to Growing Older Disgracefully; 10 Easy Steps to Finding Your Ideal Soulmate!; Money, Sex & Compromise and Managing the Diversity Maze, among others (available on http://www.amazon.co.uk as well as her personal website). Also the founder of the British Diversity Awards and the Windrush Men and Women of the Year Achievement Awards. She describes herself as, “Fit, Fabulous and Ready to Fly!”
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