Bradley Cupcakes

Bradley Cupcakes

Say it is Thanksgiving, and you have been diagnosed with gluten intolerance and casein. Suddenly you are faced with a life without wheat and dairy free. Some time. You and your boyfriend love is flowing through the corridors of power, planning your holiday feast: ham label (ie, additives to see … well) roast potatoes, carrots, green beans. All is well until love your boyfriend comes into the bakery and pastry starts fingering. He stops at a angel, reflects on a chocolate cake, and finally, after much deliberation, moved into a bowl of honey crisp apple tart. "Let's get ice cream!" She exclaims.

In her mind, writhing on the floor in a puddle of melted French vanilla, clutching his crotch. In fact, you grain your teeth and follow through dairy aisle (pretending not to notice the Chunky Monkey you never try again), hit the box home, opened the ice cream, spit on him, and that damn place walk away and finally collapse in a fit of desperation. After making this awesome apple crumble, which is only for you because you have become someone with special dietary needs, and people with special dietary needs may call no-Sies share.

Attack of despair Apple Crumble
amounts are approximate – Just go by feel

2 apples, halved, peeled and sliced
2 tsp sugar (or sweetener choice)
Cinnamon (as much as you want)
1 tsp ghee (or so)

Crumbly bits:
2 teaspoons ghee (approx.)
¼ cup brown sugar (or sweetener of choice)
¼ cup almond meal (ground almonds)
¼ cup pecans or so crumbled or nuts

1. Grease a pan with clarified butter. Chuck apple slices in pan, sprinkle with sugar or sweetener and cinnamon. Dot with 2 teaspoons of ghee.

2. Mix the remaining 2 tsp ghee in brown sugar / sweetener. Mix almond flour and nuts. Plop on top of apples. Bake covered at 350 for 15 minutes, then uncover and bake until browned and crumbles little apples are tender, about 30 minutes or less depending on your oven, the time, if the moon is on Mars, etc.

3. Serve hot or cold. Cover with coconut cream whipped. And everyone else eat their crummy store-bought cake. Wheat-eating losers.

Coconut mousse

1 can of milk coconut
Vanilla extract or vanilla bean
Sugar / sweetener

Well kids, I'll give it to you straight – this is a work of love. It is sensitive and pissy and annoying as hell, but Sooooooooo worth it.

First, you have to let a can of coconut milk sit for a day or two, so the water separates. Sometimes you can get one that this has happened. Unfortunately, it'll never be where one wants to do coconut whipped cream. I found that getting a mark so that the water is added it becomes easier.

After a day or so, stick in the freezer for another day. Look, this is annoying and requires advance preparation.

Remove from freezer and open the two ends of the can. Aha! The bit of water is frozen separately from the little creamy. Use a cover to push the whole into a large block, then cut the bit watery. If you have a can opener that cuts around the outside of the rim may and therefore can not use the lid to push the block, do what I did and dented the bit watery with a large knife. Profuse swearing will make the process seems faster.

Paste the little creamy frozen in a food processor and genius. Add a plug or less vanilla extract, or cutting and compressing the bowels of a pod of vanilla. Bung in some sugar / sweetener. Taste and adjust according to how sweet and vanilla-and you want it. (Note – extract is fine, but the entrails will bean beautiful brown spots throughout the adequacy PLUS satisfaction that can only come from using an honest to god vanilla). Whip things into a bag freezing or storage devices and let stand in refrigerator for another day or so.

This will not be as Whippy, eg, Cool Whip, but will be better.

What is ghee?

Sigh. Ghee, you freaks milk is clarified butter. Basically you take butter (organic, no salt) and heated in a pan until the milk solids separation (30-60min), stress, and one is left with milk fat what kind of taste caramelly and enjoyable. You can buy ghee many places, especially in the Indian markets, but I prefer making my own because a) I am a geek control and b) do not usually go. Use it wherever you'd use butter.

Bradley’s cupcake

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